me: imagination, thoughts, ideas, and seizing the day

DISCLAIMER: These are today's thoughts put in a blender at the bottom of my fingers where they touch the keyboard that is powered by my mind.

A woman's voice appears over the PA system along the banks of the Rivers of America. 

"Welcome to Fantasmic! Tonight, our friend and host Mickey Mouse uses his vivid imagination to create magical imagery for all to enjoy. Nothing is more wonderful than the imagination. For, in a moment, you can experience a beautiful fantasy. Or, an exciting adventure! But beware -- nothing is more powerful than the imagination. For it can also expand your greatest fears into an overwhelming nightmare. Are the powers of Mickey's incredible imagination strong enough, and bright enough, to withstand the evil forces that invade Mickey's dreams? You are about to find out. For we now invite you to join Mickey, and experience Fantasmic -- a journey beyond your wildest imagination..."

Soon, a soft note starts, followed by chimes and other instruments building a beautiful chord. Then, BAM! A light appears on the island across the river and a chorus sings, "Imagination!" Other lights and notes start as the chorus sings, "Dream a fantastic dream. Use your imagination." That is followed by a trumpet fanfare and other instruments that help inspire this symphony. When the singing is done, Micky Mouse appears and starts to show what the imagination can do. The audience is shown different scenes from Disney movie and many beautiful things that the imagination can do. 

*spoiler alert*

Then the evil witch appears. She characterizes the bad of the imagination, the doubt, the regret, and everything else that we blow out of proportion in our minds until we drive ourselves crazy. She soon becomes a dragon that Mickey fights and eventually vanquishes. 

I had seen the show in the past and just enjoyed it for the musical and lighting spectacular that it is. I had never looked into the deeper meaning of any bit of the show. It may have been the fact that I was too young to care the first couple times I saw it and all I really cared about was the fire on the water (featured in the above picture), but over this Christmas, I saw something more in the show. Something that I needed and that I'm sure God needed me to see. 

I blow situations out of proportion in my mind all the time. I let my doubts determine my actions too often. It keeps me from seizing the day, because I am afraid that I will ruin what I have in life. I keep myself from taking risks and letting my dreams and good imaginings have place. I've been working on it. 

The musical [title of show] has a song called "Die Vampire, Die".  It says that we all have ideas that we want to share, but we keep our ideas hidden because of the vampires that bite us and take the life and disposition from us. These vampires are the bad parts of our imagination working against us. It defines vampires as "any person or thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative self expression." The song then defines 3 types of vampires: 

Pigmy Vampires - The type that tells you that you are inadequate because of you situation and that other did it before you and better than you. They are the little thoughts of comparison that plague us. 

Air Freshner Vampires - are the vampires that censor our ideas and make sure that we have something stable, but that doesn't challenge anything. It keeps us from trying new and innovative things. 

The Vampire of Despair - is the vampire that will you keep you awake until 4 a.m. with thoughts such as, "Who do you think you're kidding?", "You look like a fool.",  "No matter how hard you try, you'll never be good enough."  It's the bad stuff that we tell ourselves. It's how we put ourselves down and discredit ourselves before we begin. 

But as my mom, my friend Megan, my church leaders and many others have said, I don't need to listen to these voices. Does it matter what anyone thinks? I'm the person who has to live with myself if I don't follow my dreams. I am the one who will be the the shell to regrets of days that go unseized. I have today. I was told that I would be the future and that future is my today. What am I doing with it and  am I going to do those things with my life that I feel I need to get done?

I've been reading the Power of Starting Something Stupid by Norton. The book outlines many great things to help inspire one to go after dreams. Many sentences stood out to me today. 

"I refuse to achieve 'success' at the expense of my life." (p.36)

"Make it your personal responsibility to make ideas happen." (p. 44)

"You can't let fear and indecision sink your creativity -- they do not easily release their hold." (p. 53)

"FUTURE REGRET = TODAY'S IMPERATIVE" (p. 54)

"...the concept that you're actually allowed to do the things that you're inherently passionate about is a new kind of thinking altogether. You've got to be patient with yourself as you adjust to this new paradigm." (p. 57)

"Stupid ideas have the power to change lives. Why not let one change yours?" (p. 61)

"You are as ready today as you're ever going to be, and with that understanding comes an empowering choice: You can overcome your circumstances or you can let your circumstances overcome you." (p. 65)

"You are the now, and your 'future' is today." (p.67)

"Authentic experience is gained not by simply strapping yourself in and doing the time, but through constantly (and sincerely) seeking learning and improvement along the road to success." (p. 70)

The imagination of Micky Mouse has inspired me to follow the echoed chorus in the musical Newsies to "open the gates and seize the day." To not be "afraid" and to not "delay".  Robin Williams taught me in Dead Poets' Society the doctrine of "CARPE DIEM", which is basically to seize the day. I cannot let my imagination of perceived undesirable outcomes influence my desire to pursue my dreams. Like Henry David Thoreau said, " When it's time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived." 

As we learn in the Book of Mormon, we shouldn't "procrastinate the day of our repentance until the end." (Alma 34:33). I take that and apply it to acting on the thoughts, ideas and impressions that come to us. If we live our lives squandering our talents and hiding them from the world, we haven't let our "light so shine before men, that they may see (our) good works and glorify (our) father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16). We are also told that "...he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness." (D&C 58:26-27)

I want to follow those things that it seems that God deems to be as profitable pursuits in my life. I want to follow those prompting, thoughts and ideas that he gives me as I go forward improving my talents and chasing the stars. 

This blog post goes everywhere. I know that I can pursue anything and achieve anything if I have God on my side and if I don't wait until tomorrow to start. I don't need money, experience, etc. I just need to start now. That's how I will get money and experience. If I don't start now, when will I. 

Don't wait! Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "How much of human life is lost in waiting!" Kurt Vonnegut once said, "Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, 'It might have been.'" Don't be stuck with regrets when you grown old. Resolve to be better today. Keep your resolutions and remember:

FUTURE REGRETS = TODAY'S IMPERATIVE  

Christmas BREAK

This has been quite a Christmas. I had a lot of things put into perspective for me. 

As finals ended and my break started, I was wrapped up in my own issues and worried only about me. I wasn't really getting into the Christmas spirit and didn't even have much of a charitable attitude. I did some nice things, but then I convinced myself that what i was doing was stupid. I told myself that no one cared. I kept putting myself down even though I should have been happy with my performance on finals and the friendships I had started this semester.

Then the break started breaking. 

Broken hearts. 

With in the first couple days of Christmas Break, one of my old friends from high school lost his grandparents in a car wreck. They were headed from Orangeville to Manti to do temple work. 

A few days later, my sister had a friend whose dad passed away unexpectedly. 

Break in.

Tuesday before my family headed to Disneyland, we got news that our extra home in St. George was broken into. We're showing the home to sell it and the real estate agent informed us of the break in. My parents sent me down early to assess the damage and file a police report before they got there to take a pit stop on our way to California. 

Walking in to a dark house that has been broken into is creepy. You wonder if someone could still be there because the door has been kicked in. All the drawers and cupboards are left open with random items strewn everywhere. Things that you are used to seeing are missing, you are left puzzling why someone would do that. Luckily, they only made off with the TV and didn't do too much damage. 

We go everything taken care of before we left for Disneyland. We even installed a drop camera that would sent images and sound to a smart phone if someone broke in again. 

Broke down.

Our first day at Disneyland, we got a notification as we were leaving the park to go find a bite to eat that there was movement in our house in St. George. We pulled up the drop camera and heard sounds as if someone was bumping around in the darkened house. We called my cousin and the cops to have them go check on the house. 

As my cousin watched the cops check the house, our across the street neighbor came out of his house to inform my cousin that he had backed into the little green Yaris parked in front of the house. The car I drive. 

When my cousin told my dad, my dad said that it sounded like my cousin was nervous to tell us about the car. My mom just started laughing. She broke. She and dad didn't go back to Disneyland with us that night and were dead asleep when we got back to the Hotel. That never happens. I have never come home to my mom asleep when I've still been out, but she needed the sleep that night so we didn't wake her up. 

We cut some of our California plans short so that we could take care of the car before Christmas Eve. We got back to St. George on the 23rd and left the car at a body shop. The repairs are going to cost the guy's insurance around $1800.

Broken tire. 

After everything, we got home and my mom's principal car had a flat tire from a nail puncture. Of everything, that was the easiest to fix. It was just another thing heaped on our plate. The Monday Surprise that the lunch lady of life decided to dish us.  

And I gained perspective.

I realized that I really don't have it bad. I remembered people from Brazil that had less than I did and who went through more trials without questioning "why?" I looked at my circle of friends and their examples of faith in the trials that they face. I looked at what I went through during the week, but how happy I was because I was with my family doing something fun. Even though all this crap was hitting the fan, we were together and that's what mattered. My spirits brightened. My imagination was renewed. I felt like new, and I'm glad that I got over myself. God wanted me to listen, so he made sure I could see his voice. I have been humbled. 

And really, the things that broke during the break were of no eternal consequence other than the fact that they opened my mind and helped me see things a little cleared and more eternally. Thank the heavens for that. 

Here are some pictures of the fun: 

The long car ride

Getting ready for Disney

Walker can't make a normal face

Neither can I...

Nor dad...

Etch-a-sketch. Too much technology

No words.

I don't have much to complain about. I'm far to blessed. I need to do as the old song says and "count my blessings instead of sheep." (I hate sheep, but that's another story)