my day as shia labeouf.

So, a few days ago I was texting my mom and asked her what I should be for Halloween. She sent me a few pictures of quirky, quick costumes I could put together. Stactic cling. A nudist on strike. Identity theft. Candy rappers. Facebook.

The one that hit me was Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin Film Festival and at the art exhibit #IAMSORRY in Los Angeles. It seemed like the best choice for a memorable, simple costume. All I had to do was find a paper bag. 

I could not for the life of me find a good paper bag around my apartment in Arlington or work in Washington DC. I checked all the stores that were close to me and all they had were plastic bags or reusable canvas ones. The library had paper sacks, but they were huge to put fallen leaves in. I found a white paper bag that my roommate had, but it looked too much like a KKK item when I finished it and I did not want to got for that look. Finally, my friend had a creme colored sack from Anthropologie that fit my head well and looked perfect. I wrote the iconic "I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE" on it and I was pretty much set to go for a wonderful Halloween costumes. 

The news, TV shows and movies show us that wearing a paper sack over your head is a way to avoid the attention of people because you are either embarrassed about something you did, trying to hide your identity, marginally unattractive or Shia LaBeouf. Most exhibitions of the paper sack on one's head seem pretty inconspicuous, but that it not true in real life.

Bucky McBadbat in the TV show Fairly Odd Parents hid his identity because he was the worst baseball player ever. 

I had people looking at me all day. I enjoyed the attention because most people smiled at the costume. I wore a simple bow tie, white shirt, and cardigan with the bag over my head.  

The first reaction I got was as I entered the elevator in my apartment building. There was a Chinese couple in the elevator who were quite surprised to see a tall man with a paper bag over his head enter the elevator. They stayed as far away from me as they could as we descended, only give furtive glances at me on occasion.

Walking to the Metro and riding to work, there were lots of people who would look at me and smile. One guy stopped me in the station and asked, "Are you...are you dressed as Shia LaBeouf?" I told him I was and he said, "Ah man...hahaha. That's some funny [shiz]!" 

Shortly after that, a Metro worker started to follow me. I thought she was going to inform me of a Metro rule that I wasn't allowed to wear masks. Instead, she read the mask and yelled in my face, "Yes you are!" I'm assuming that she meant that I'm famous. I still don't know if she got that I was dressed as Shia LaBeouf or if she was just trying to make me feel important. 

Outside on the way to my office, I passed a construction site. One of the workers called out, "HEY!" I looked over to see about fifteen construction workers looking at me and laughing.

Things were quiet at the office. Only two of my co-workers came in today. The other intern who was in thought my costume turned out pretty awesome. Our co-worker didn't get it at all. He was left stumped when I put the bag on my head to show him my costume. You can't win them all.

Responses from friends on social media gave high praise to the costume.

I did go to a church dance where the novelty of being Shia LaBeouf was wearing off, so I ditched the bag and danced. It was a good time. I really enjoyed the whole day. So I guess I have two people to thank for that. First off, I need to thank Shia LaBeouf for doing something weird that I could use as a costume.

And Last, Thanks mom for always having hilarious ideas.