photoshoot.

My friend Ali needed a model for a photo shoot and asked if I could help. 

Of course!

So we went out yesterday and she took pictures of me. She needed some unexplained portraits, so she used makeup to give me a black eye. We didn't do just portraits, but that was the main focus.

The pictures turned out really cool. I know that we did the black eye for no reason, but I want to give an explanation of what I feel when I look at the pictures we took. 

I feel like they really show me as an attractive person. I generally feel like I'm attractive, but I do also beat myself up. That's where the black eye comes in. I think the pictures show a lot of how I feel inside (but I think I may smile more on the inside than I do in the pictures). 

Anyway, you probably want to see some of the pictures, so here you go:

 

It was also really fun to get to know Ali better. We became friends through Eric Liebhardt at karaoke. It was fun talking to her, taking pictures, and getting chocolate Coke at the drug store. 

something epic. something memorable.

Wanderlust. It's a real struggle. It's hard to sit through classes when all you really want to do is be out in the world exploring and having adventures. 

Therefore, I made a deal with myself. I said to my subconscious, "If you let me focus on school for two weeks, I'll take you on a grand adventure for spring break." 

And I don't want to be made a liar. 

So...what should I do? 

March 8th, Sina Grace is visiting Maximum Comics in Vegas. That sounds like a good way to start a break, but that's not enough. Maybe I'll go to Monument Valley and/or the Grand Canyon. Zion National Park might be fun. Even just camping at Three Peaks would be a blast. I could work some of the days and get more money. That's probably a good idea. There are so many things I could do, but what should I do.  

Really, I just want some good stories to tell when the inevitable question "What did you do for spring break?" comes up. I don't want to have to say that I stayed in Cedar and worked the whole break. I don't want to just watch Netflix for 9 days.  

I'm going to get away. Adventure awaits. Let me know if you want to join me.

***Disclaimer: I stole these pictures from a Google Image Search***

true love

There is a trend of people either being super excited about Valentines or down & disillusioned about it. Most of the people who are down and disillusioned are those my age who feel lonely because they lack the companionship celebrated on this holiday. 

A few weeks ago, I decided to escape this loneliness by going home to spend the holiday with my family. It's a holiday of love, so I spent it with people I love and I had a blast.

Friday, my roomie Jordan and I drove up to Castle Dale. We got there mid-afternoon and I dropped him off at his parent's home for the weekend.

My family members had other plans for the evening, but that was okay. I spent the night with Cricket, our family dog, reading Hawkeye and Li'l Depressed Boy comics. Both really help me to understand myself and little things that I need to do better in dating. 

A little later in the evening, I watched most of The Great Gatsby with my sister, but I got distracted and didn't finish the movie. I know I might lose my life for saying this, but I didn't think it was worth all the hype people made about it.

Saturday was the best. We went to Arches National Park to go hiking. It was free national park day. We hiked part of the Devil's Garden Trail to the Double O Arches. We got to see Landscape Arch and a few others along the way. After that, we hiked to Delicate Arch. That is one of the most beautiful sights. The arch sits on the edge of a huge cliff with swirling inclined sandstone leading to it. Lots of people, including myself, hiked along the treacherous incline to get pictures underneath the arch. 

On the hike back to our car, there were some people sitting about 50 yards apart on different sides of the trail playing native flutes. The tune was simple and they would echo each other back and forth across the trail. It was amazing how their simple song brought a reverence to everyone passing on the trail. The music made me look up and notice nature more. I looked at all the beauty around and had to appreciate the amazing world we live in.  

Sunday, we went as a family to Beaver for my cousin Lacey's mission farewell. She's going to serve her mission in Rapid City, SD. It was good to see extended family and catch up with them. 

That evening, Jordan, Dory, Katy, and I spend the evening together. It was good to catch up with Dory and Katy who have both graduated and moved on from SUU. We watched a French film called He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. I'm not always the biggest fan of foreign films, but this one was one of the most amazingly written and directed films I have had the opportunity to watch. I won't say much about it, but I will say that it will blow your mind. 

To end my Valentines and President's day weekend, I spend Monday morning shoveling gravel to fill in a planter area with my dad and siblings. It was hard work and I definitely counted it as my workout for the day. When we finished a part, I packed to come back to college. 

Before I left, dad and Walker took me with them to fly some airplanes they had made. They gave me a fully automatic air-soft rifle and told me to shoot the plane. I did and almost took it out of the air. It was a huge blast. 

This weekend was amazing. I would not have traded it for anything. Enjoy more pictures!

everything is awesome

First off, 

THE LEGO MOVIE IS SO WONDERFUL!!!

It is a movie with beautifully written dialogue, fantastic animation, LEGOs (duh!), and a great story. Lots of stories are unbelievable these days. Characters do things that no person in their right mind would think of and while the LEGO Movie has quite a vast array of characters, all of their actions are believable. There is a lot of suspense, but enough predictability that everything seems like it could happen. 

They also have some great voice talents with Will Arnett as Batman, Will Ferrell as President Business, Alison Brie (my favorite) as Unicat, and Chris Pratt as Emmet, the main character. 

I don't want to give anything more away. There are just some parts that you have to see for yourself and you don't want to have them ruined by this guy who is still a member of the LEGO Club and has a Batman LEGO set in the top drawer of his nightstand. 

Also, who can't resist the main song for the movie, "Everything is AWESOME!!! (ft. Lonely Island)". Yes, it has that really hilarious band that did some music videos for Saturday Night Live. Also, the song is by Tegan & Sarah. That's a pretty great combo for a movie title song.

The movie had me laughing louder than all the children in the theater and crying more than the emotional parents. One of the main themes of the movie it that we are all SPECIAL and we all have something that we can contribute to the world to make it a better place. 

I would recommend you go see it as soon as you can. You will not regret it. 

favorite holiday

I love Groundhogs Day. Let me make you a list of reasons why it's is superior to all other holidays in my mind:

1- No one expects anything of me. I can continue on my merry way as if nothing is happening and people won't complain because I wasn't into the spirit of the holiday enough. 

2- I won't disappoint anyone. This goes along with people having no expectations of me for this holiday. No one looks to see if I get scared of my shadow. It all depends on the little groundhog. 

3- I don't have to worry about buying gifts. This is one of the most real stresses of other holidays. Luckily, I don't have to worry about it on my favorite holiday. 

4- I don't have to worry about receiving gifts. There are a lot of holidays where one receives gifts and I usually don't feel like I deserve them, so Groundhogs day takes away that unnecessary feeling of undeserving.  

5- I don't have to make food. Let's just say that if I made a quesadilla in the microwave, no one would think anything of it on this wonderful holiday. 

5- I don't have to have candy on hand for children who knock on my door. Not only do I not have to have candy, but I also don't have the anxiety that hits my gut when someone knocks on my door. 

8- Groundhogs are cute. Cuddly, furry, fuzz ball. Enough said.

8- It's treated like a regular day. 

9-It's a holiday rooted in superstition. Suddenly, at least for a day, people aren't afraid to think that a Groundhog and it's shadow are a perfectly good basis for determining weather. Now if only they would knock on wood. 

9- There is only one holiday special for Groundhog Day. You don't have to argue what movie you should watch, if you even watch a movie, because there is only one move for Groundhog Day.

10- It's my half birthday!

It's a great day to just be normal and not worry about all the inadequacies of the day that you get during other holidays.

musicals

The last two weekends I have spent listening to music from musicals.

The first weekend was listening to Michael Ballam with my grandparents. His concert was almost a history of musical storytelling in the USA. He started with some of the oldest American Musicals and worked his way through the years until he ended with "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables. He said that the prayer of this song could be taken after the model given by another, Jesus Christ, who also made a covenant with the father to help all of us to be able to make it back home to our father's kingdom. 

Though I love that song and loved the connection, there was a another part of the show that hit me more. He talked about a time that his dad took him to Chicago. His dad had to be at business meetings during the day, but told Michael that they could do whatever he wanted in the evenings. He gave Michael the money to buy tickets to things on the first day so that they wouldn't have to wait in lines the other days. He bought tickets to the opera, symphony, art exhibits and a few musicals. He showed his dad all the tickets at the end of the first day and his dad said the only one that they might have a little trouble with was making it to Man of La Mancha on Thursday because they had a dinner with one of his dad's idols in the business world. The dinner was at 6 pm and curtain for the show was at 8 pm, so they figured they could make it. 

At the dinner, it was quickly evident that getting their meal would be a production of it's own. After an hour and fifteen minutes of eating appetizers that came nowhere near looking like real food, Michael became resigned to the fact that they probably wouldn't make it to the show. The surprise came at 7:40 when his dad stood up and apologized that he had to leave because he had a previous engagement with his son. They took a taxi to the play and got in their seats just at the end of the Overture. 

Michael Ballam talked about how this moment, his father knowing how much it meant to him, has really touched him and inspired him to keep chasing his dreams. I thought about all the times that my parents have done things like that for me. They are always there to tell me to reach for my dreams. They read my resumes and help me optimize them for the jobs for which I'm applying. When I was in Jr. High, mom made me the promise that either she or dad would be at all of my wrestling matches. In High School, they didn't miss a show, choir concert, etc, especially when I was the lead in Man of La Mancha. 

He then sang "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha. That, combined with the story, really touched me. I cried and felt really loved with my grandparents. 

This weekend, I went to Second Studio's Broadway Bonanza with my musical friend Makenzie Vance. It was a wonderful show. Keilani rocked some good jazz tunes. Carly gave a hilarious rendition of "Everybody's Girl" from Steel Pier. Sceri sang "Fine, Fine Line" from Avenue Q. Redge's performance of "Man" from The Full Monty was hilarious. There were also some great renditions of songs from Ordinary Days that I really related to me. The end of the show was a wonderfully funny performance of "Screw Loose" by Josh Hopkins. It was a fun night. 

Michael Ballam said in his concert that the reason we love musicals is because they tell stories in a much more compelling way. I really agree with that. There is something about music that sparks my emotions to a much higher level. I feel like everyone has music that would make up the soundtrack of the musical of their life. There are power ballads of love; slow minor songs of uncertainty; big production numbers of excitement; dance jams of personal triumph; and blues solos of sadness. We all have our crescendos and decrescendos in life. We just have to keep looking forward. We'll reach a happy end eventually.  

journal

I wouldn't be able to get through life without journals. I pour a piece of my soul and who I am into everything I write, even if it's just a few poetic words on the back of a receipt or a drawing on a napkin. Journals are the place that I can put all of those things together. It's a place where I can keep myself at least partially organized. They are the horocruxes to my He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They are the music to my Mozart. They are me.

I feel honest on the page. 

I have used journals for so many things. I have many that are filled with random musings, poetry, sketches, lists, etc. I filled over 6 journals with the day-to-day happenings of my mission and I'm working on my 6th outside the mission journal. 

I got my first journal around the time I was 8 and started to write, but very sporadically. My writing carried little to no detail of daily happenings, but mostly explanations of who I thought I was and what things I liked. Those primitive entries also held my opinions of stupid people at school and who I considered friends of those few people I really associated with. 

I have become a better chronicler through the years It's taken a few classes and rereading my old journals to realize how much more I needed to leave to tell the stories of my life. 

Scouting and church programs got me to write more about my life and to keep my journal more consistently. When I got to college I was writing nearly everyday and then when I left to Brazil I didn't miss a day for two years. When I got home, I became lax and settled for writing once a week, usually on Sunday. I realized how much was starting to go missing from my weeks and experiences, that I have been getting better at writing more frequently again. 

I love reading what former me has to say about the world. It really helps me to see how far I have really come. I have developed from being concerned about having a favorite Pokemon define me to the grown person I am now who doesn't care what other people think about my favorite pokemons. 

It's been said that history is written by those who wrote. I know that my contribution so far is a large tote full of journals and various megabytes full of information on my Google Drive, blog, and pen drives. Who knows how much will stand the test of time, but at least for me I know I won't forget.