living

It's been a little while since I update this and I realize that most people aren't going to see this for a few days because I'm taking a hiatus from Facebook this week, but I just want everyone to know that I am living. 

living /ˈliviNG/ 1. noun: the pursuit of a lifestyle of the specified type. "the benefits of country living"

2. adjective: alive. "living creatures"

For any who don't know, I am a little crazy. My mind goes everywhere and my body wants to follow. I'm living. I am alive. I'm also pursuing a living in what I enjoy. Right now, I am making a living studying marketing and working part-time jobs to finance dates, comics, books, and weekend hiking trips. I went to a color festival, shook Kenny Loggins' hand (twice) and watched my brother play soccer. I even did my taxes with my dad. That's what I love. That's the living that makes me feel alive. I'm way excited about the world and finding more about the things around me, especially in nature. I'm almost done with my undergrad, and I can't wait to get a job to take me somewhere else in life.  

The last few weeks, I have been able to live. I have escaped to the mountains, helped host an amazing St. Patrick's Day Party, reconnected with someone who I thought would never want me in their life, and have learned so many things about myself. I've been writing, drawing, reflecting, exercising, and clearing my mind about who I have been and become. Too often, I think I take for granted how far I have come as a human being. Sure, I make mistakes, but that has make who I am. I don't want to get overly sentimental, but I'm glad for all the crap I've been through. I'm glad I've grown. 

I'm not perfect, but at least I'm alive.

journal

I wouldn't be able to get through life without journals. I pour a piece of my soul and who I am into everything I write, even if it's just a few poetic words on the back of a receipt or a drawing on a napkin. Journals are the place that I can put all of those things together. It's a place where I can keep myself at least partially organized. They are the horocruxes to my He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They are the music to my Mozart. They are me.

I feel honest on the page. 

I have used journals for so many things. I have many that are filled with random musings, poetry, sketches, lists, etc. I filled over 6 journals with the day-to-day happenings of my mission and I'm working on my 6th outside the mission journal. 

I got my first journal around the time I was 8 and started to write, but very sporadically. My writing carried little to no detail of daily happenings, but mostly explanations of who I thought I was and what things I liked. Those primitive entries also held my opinions of stupid people at school and who I considered friends of those few people I really associated with. 

I have become a better chronicler through the years It's taken a few classes and rereading my old journals to realize how much more I needed to leave to tell the stories of my life. 

Scouting and church programs got me to write more about my life and to keep my journal more consistently. When I got to college I was writing nearly everyday and then when I left to Brazil I didn't miss a day for two years. When I got home, I became lax and settled for writing once a week, usually on Sunday. I realized how much was starting to go missing from my weeks and experiences, that I have been getting better at writing more frequently again. 

I love reading what former me has to say about the world. It really helps me to see how far I have really come. I have developed from being concerned about having a favorite Pokemon define me to the grown person I am now who doesn't care what other people think about my favorite pokemons. 

It's been said that history is written by those who wrote. I know that my contribution so far is a large tote full of journals and various megabytes full of information on my Google Drive, blog, and pen drives. Who knows how much will stand the test of time, but at least for me I know I won't forget.