zine: a collective project. an anthology.

I'm making a zine and I need all your help!

zine noun \ˈzēn\ : a small magazine that is written by people who are not professional writers and that usually has stories about a particular subject. 

This last weekend I went on a road trip. When I am driving alone or when I have time, I listen to a podcast by Dan Berry called Make It Then Tell Everybody. Dan generally interviews people who have jobs in the comics industry to help other people formulate ideas on how they can self-promote and break in to the comics world. 

Anyway, on my trip, I listened to probably 7 episodes. Each episode is about an hour and that's about how much time I spent in my car alone. I learned about nib pens, brushes, comics in academia, etc. One of the things that was reoccurring was the volume of comics creators that started by publishing their own works to sell at conventions. Many of them had only simple zines that they would sell for print costs to get their name out. 

One of the things that I want to do in my life is help other people to tell their stories. We all have them whether they are emotional poems, creative fiction pieces, or though provoking personal essays. We all use different mediums to tell our stories. Some use photography, painting, and sculpting. Others write, dance or act. My hope is that through this zine I can help people to tell those stories.  

What I'm asking right now is for everyone to submit things that I could publish on a page. Maybe we'll start a vlog-zine soon with other works to showcase dance, theatre, music, etc, but for now we are just doing print. Send me sketches, comics, paintings, photos, poems, personal essays, short stories, etc. Lengths can and should vary. Send me all the submissions you care to send. I want to get the first zine put together by the end of May. If you want to be in this one, send me your submission by May 10, with any contact info you care to include so that people can follow you on twitter, etsy, instagram, your blog or where ever else you post your creative work for people to see. You can also include a little bio. 

The theme that has come to my mind is life and living. I think I may title the zine "Live". It will be a collective of readers and artists that produce art to help each other to keep making art. It can be funny, uplifting, deep, emotional, etc. Like Neil Gaiman said, "Make good art."

To all those who we choose to be in the publication, I'll send you a copy of the zine. I am also going to try to put them in some coffee shops, book stores, and comic shops. I want people to see you story and feel the impact of your art. 

I love helping people to tell their stories. Help me tell yours.

Dream Catcher

Cerebral Vomit in notes

Graphic Poem

Splash Page

Self Portrait

living

It's been a little while since I update this and I realize that most people aren't going to see this for a few days because I'm taking a hiatus from Facebook this week, but I just want everyone to know that I am living. 

living /ˈliviNG/ 1. noun: the pursuit of a lifestyle of the specified type. "the benefits of country living"

2. adjective: alive. "living creatures"

For any who don't know, I am a little crazy. My mind goes everywhere and my body wants to follow. I'm living. I am alive. I'm also pursuing a living in what I enjoy. Right now, I am making a living studying marketing and working part-time jobs to finance dates, comics, books, and weekend hiking trips. I went to a color festival, shook Kenny Loggins' hand (twice) and watched my brother play soccer. I even did my taxes with my dad. That's what I love. That's the living that makes me feel alive. I'm way excited about the world and finding more about the things around me, especially in nature. I'm almost done with my undergrad, and I can't wait to get a job to take me somewhere else in life.  

The last few weeks, I have been able to live. I have escaped to the mountains, helped host an amazing St. Patrick's Day Party, reconnected with someone who I thought would never want me in their life, and have learned so many things about myself. I've been writing, drawing, reflecting, exercising, and clearing my mind about who I have been and become. Too often, I think I take for granted how far I have come as a human being. Sure, I make mistakes, but that has make who I am. I don't want to get overly sentimental, but I'm glad for all the crap I've been through. I'm glad I've grown. 

I'm not perfect, but at least I'm alive.

breaking spring

So... I know that I'm only a part way through this spring break, but I think I broke spring break. I had so much fun the first couple days of the break that I'm not even sure if the rest of it is necessary. 

To start it all off, Tristen, Landon, Nate, Trudi (Tristen's sister) and I drove to Vegas after classes on Friday. We dropped our stuff off at Tristen's family's home, picked up her niece Sierra, and went to first Friday which is a type of art festival that happens every first Friday of each month. The art exhibits were beautiful. It was fun to see the artists that were working on new pieces as we walked around the various galleries in the art district of Vegas. My favorite pieces were ones that were more comic art, though I did find some really compelling collage pieces. 

When we got back to Tristen's family's home after First Friday, I crashed in my hammock in their backyard. It was amazing to be able to gently sway to sleep in the warm spring air. I remember that right before I fell to sleep, a symphony of sirens began to echo inharmoniously through the streets singing me to sleep. I woke to the spiritual sun hugging my face with it's warmth. Those hammock moments were a time machine to the best days in Brazil, waking up to the warm equatorial sun and Amazonian breezes at 6:30 am. It made me miss the jungle and all it's hisses, howls, and hums.

The first part of our Saturday was spent in repose. We had pancakes with homemade syrup and planned what we would do later. In the afternoon, we visited some more of Tristen's nieces and nephew at their home close to the Vegas temple. We looked for scorpions in the backyard and did Acro-yoga, which is acrobats and yoga mixed together for two people. Nate, who weighs significantly less than me (first guess would be at least 50 pounds less), balanced me on his feet. It was amazing. He didn't even seem to struggle to balance my full weight on his feet as I straitened my feet and arms in the air like Superman. 

After that, we drove across town to MaximuM Comics 1.0 to see Sina Grace who was doing a comic signing there. We waited in line with some of the coolest people I've randomly met in a line. Sadly, I don't remember their names. There was a black lady that was there with her son who told us about her days growing up in Alabama in the 60s. She told us about how she was bullied by KKK members in full white Klan garb. It made me appreciate how far we've come as humanity to hear how bad it used to be and made me want to try harder to make the world better for those who will come after me. 

We were also served muffins in line from one of the staff members. He told us that the person who provides Scentsy products so that none of the comics stores smell like B.O. brought the muffins for us to enjoy. They were amazing triple berry muffins. I love how MaximuM Comics have always provided some sort of treat when I've gone to their signings.

Sina was so great. He always is. He drew a picture of the girl in front of us as Harley Quinn. He signed my copy of Not My Bag with his brush pen and didn't even have to ask my name or how it was spelled to personalize it. He just remembered from Facebook and the last comic signing where I saw him. He also drew me a picture of Li'l Depressed Boy as Max from Where The Wild Things Are. It looks so good next to my Li'l Depressed Boy under the Giving Tree. 

The other fun part of the signing was that Sierra won a Star Wars gift pack in the raffle that they were hold as a part of the signing. She was so excited and I saw her post recently on Facebook about how much she loves a tee that she got as a part of the prize. She also said that her mom said that she was such a nerd for loving the prize and that she didn't care about that. I wondered what that said about me for being the one so excited about going to the comic signing in the first place. It was so wonderful to have my group of friends humor and support me in going to see one of my favorite artists at that signing. 

We spent the evening on the Vegas strip. It was fun to walk around the buildings, see the fake Eiffel Tower, see the Belagio gardens and even talk to people in Portuguese. As we were walking, I notice some people talking in my favorite language, so I turned and asked if they were from Brazil (in Portuguese of course) and they said that they were from Fortaleza. They asked me what part of Brazil I was from and I had to tell them that I had only lived in Brazil for a bit. They told me that I hardly had any accent. We talked about Brazil and where I had lived in Belem and Macapa. One of the guys asked me what sin I committed to have to be in the heat of Brazil. His friend hit him and then asked me what sin I committed to have to leave Brazil. Both were good questions. ;)

Sunday was a good day of rest. We went to church and then spent some time walking around the Las Vegas temple barefoot. Well, I know I was barefoot. Not everyone walked barefoot. The grass was so soft on the palms of my feet and the bricks of the walkways were smooth. After the temple we went back to Tristen's home and had amazing tacos with her family. 

We went to play games with Julia's family in the evening before we came home. We played Ticket to Ride and Julia only beat me by 10 points because she had the longest continuous rail. It was fun to be in their home and enjoy their company. 

Back in Cedar, I had to work early Monday. I got to see my brother for a minute when I got off work and then I spent some time with my roommate Jordan later in the evening. We had dinner and then invited Tawny over to watch I, Robot. 

Today, Tuesday, March 11, I went to watch Singing in the Rain for the first time with Julia and some other friends. I remember a few years back when we got a toy for Grandma Walker that sang Singing in the Rain, because it was one of her favorite musicals. I remember it always being in front of her bed as the final stage of MS took over her body and she no longer had the control she once had. She was so patient in what would have been unbearable suffering to me. Sometimes I forget how much I learned from grandma. I remember one day when she could no longer really talk and could only really move her head how she said my name. I don't think that anyone else really heard it, but after giving her a hug she said my name so clear. I didn't get to know her as well as my older family members, but I did get to know her and I miss her. I'm glad that I got to watch one of her favorite movies today. It was such a happy movie and it made me think about how happy we should all be in life. It made me happy that grandma had that reminder of happiness next to her bed. 

In the afternoon, I read Sina Grace's Not My Bag which is a wonderful book. It made me think about the things that I worry about in my life that don't really matter. I want to worry less about things that don't matter and work more on doing the things that I know will bring me true happiness. I loved how the book talked about finding true happiness in yourself and not worrying about the past, fashions, opinions of others, etc. We just need to do our best with what God has given us. We can all help make the world a little brighter with our talents. I know that Sina's book made my world a little brighter. 

After that, I went with Jordan and Tawny to St. George. Jordan had to buy a pair of shoes and the Zumiez at the mall had the exact pair that he wanted. We also got dinner and mimicked the faces of people in the ads around Walmart. It was fun to be with two of my best friends. They have both helped me through so much. Jordan has been my best friend since 8th or 9th grade, and Tawny has given me so much good advice since I've been home from my mission. She has been like an older sister to me. 

We got home from St. George and watched We Bought a Zoo which is a wonderful, uplifting film. It made my soul smile. That was how I ended my day and it's only Tuesday. I still have 3 days and a weekend before I have to go back to school and so many wonderful little things planned for those days:

1) A date with a beautiful young lady tomorrow

2) Game night with cousins the next night

3) Some improve for Friday?

4) A temple trip with Brittany and Harrison on Saturday

5) and whatever else decided to come up. 

My life is amazing. I am happy!

new adventures for a friend.

"I've heard it said

that people come into our lives 

for a reason

bringing something we must learn

and we are led to those

who help us most to grow

if we let them

and we help them in return..."

In the summer of 2009, I had the opportunity to move to Cedar City soon after my high school graduation and start a part-time, college job as a janitor. When I got here, I didn't have many friends. One of my friends, Sam, introduced me to Eric and we became the best of friends that summer. We went on hikes, played in the park, and had dinner often with either his parents or my grandparents. We even found out that we share a middle name. That's how cool we are.

The summer ended and Eric left on a mission to Washington DC. I had to go to a year of college before I could leave on my mission to Belem, Brazil. I wrote Eric on occasion and he responded on occasion. Our letters were always comical, and I know that his always came right when I need them.

After the mission, Eric and I still hang out all the time. We celebrate Guy Fawkes Day with "eggies in a basket", sing karaoke, un-bury baby Jesus from the snow, make dream catchers, or just talk over a quick lunch about how life is. We had a Resort and Hospitality Management class together and did a group project together. I would say that Eric is one of my best friends. 

"It well may be

that we will never meet again

in this lifetime.

So, let me say before you part:

so much of me

is made of what I learned from you.

You'll be with me

like a hand print on my heart.

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have rewritten mine 

by being my friend."

Eric is leaving. He's going on a new adventure selling art on cruise ships. I'm excited for him and know he's going to do great. I'll miss singing "The Fox" with him at karaoke, having lunch, and sharing conversation over anything. I don't know when we'll see each other again. I'll be leaving Cedar City soon to go on my own adventures. Hopefully, our paths cross again soon. 

I'm so thankful for the example that Eric has been in my life. He has such great faith in God that has helped me in times when I have questioned my belief. He doesn't seem to care what people think about him and is just himself. He's always there to listen and be a friend. I will miss him. 

Last night was our last karaoke for awhile. I'm sure there will be karaoke in our future. We got to be a part of Gavin's Crew for the second time. Gavin is a kid who started going to karaoke with his mom a few weeks ago. He loves coming and talking to us. It was fun to be a part of his crew for Eric's last karaoke.

PS He was also the first person to comment on one of my blog posts and to date has the most comments on my blog. Thanks Eric for taking time to read the cerebral vomit that I publish here.

photoshoot.

My friend Ali needed a model for a photo shoot and asked if I could help. 

Of course!

So we went out yesterday and she took pictures of me. She needed some unexplained portraits, so she used makeup to give me a black eye. We didn't do just portraits, but that was the main focus.

The pictures turned out really cool. I know that we did the black eye for no reason, but I want to give an explanation of what I feel when I look at the pictures we took. 

I feel like they really show me as an attractive person. I generally feel like I'm attractive, but I do also beat myself up. That's where the black eye comes in. I think the pictures show a lot of how I feel inside (but I think I may smile more on the inside than I do in the pictures). 

Anyway, you probably want to see some of the pictures, so here you go:

 

It was also really fun to get to know Ali better. We became friends through Eric Liebhardt at karaoke. It was fun talking to her, taking pictures, and getting chocolate Coke at the drug store. 

something epic. something memorable.

Wanderlust. It's a real struggle. It's hard to sit through classes when all you really want to do is be out in the world exploring and having adventures. 

Therefore, I made a deal with myself. I said to my subconscious, "If you let me focus on school for two weeks, I'll take you on a grand adventure for spring break." 

And I don't want to be made a liar. 

So...what should I do? 

March 8th, Sina Grace is visiting Maximum Comics in Vegas. That sounds like a good way to start a break, but that's not enough. Maybe I'll go to Monument Valley and/or the Grand Canyon. Zion National Park might be fun. Even just camping at Three Peaks would be a blast. I could work some of the days and get more money. That's probably a good idea. There are so many things I could do, but what should I do.  

Really, I just want some good stories to tell when the inevitable question "What did you do for spring break?" comes up. I don't want to have to say that I stayed in Cedar and worked the whole break. I don't want to just watch Netflix for 9 days.  

I'm going to get away. Adventure awaits. Let me know if you want to join me.

***Disclaimer: I stole these pictures from a Google Image Search***